Saturday In The Park — With Dogs

Regular readers know that I occasionally use this forum to promote various worthy causes. I ask people to send money or do something that usually involves walking. Many are called, few respond.

One person who has been really good at responding over the past year is my friend Tina. She and husband Chris attended the zombie walk for my son’s day program and they attended the All Stars for Autism event. In fact, Tina pestered me for months about this year’s All Stars for Autism event — which never happened — as if I controlled the PR department of the St. Louis Cardinals. Speaking of which, why wasn’t there an All Stars for Autism event this year, St. Louis Cardinals? It was the one time a year I would go to a baseball game and the only time a year my family would come visit me.

But I digress.

So when Tina sent me an email inviting me to join her team at the Bark in the Park 1-mile walk to benefit the Humane Society of Missouri, well, what could I do? Payback is a, well, you know. And literally in this case. I agreed to do it in large part because it was a Bark in the Park and not a Meow in the Whatever-Rhymes-With Meow.

Dogs. Since the extinction of the dinosaurs has there ever been an animal as awesome as the dog? No. None more awesome. So I agreed to attend, even though I had a sneaking suspicion that some of my entry fee money would go to causes that help cats and other, lesser critters (lesser than dogs, not lesser than cats. There are no animals lesser than cats). But hey, I’m sure a lot of my tax money goes to things I don’t approve of either. That’s just the way these things go.

So I give Tina a check and ask, “When do I get my T-shirt?”

“You don’t.”

“Excuse me?”

“I get a T-shirt as team captain, but the rest of you don’t.”

OK, Humane Society of Missouri, this is not the understood social contract for charitable giving. Every charitable event I’ve attended, and I’ve attended many (sometimes I think the only exercise I get is from walking for causes) I’ve received a T-shirt for my effort (and money). Oh, it’s not that I need the T-shirts. It’s not even that I wear them. Who wants to wear a T-shirt with a zombie and blood splatters on it? I keep an emergency T-shirt that I’ve never worn in my trunk from some walk I attended a few years ago.

No, I don’t need the T-shirt. It’s the principle. Charitable giving would dry up tomorrow if people weren’t given meaningless crap in return for their money. I’ve got dozens of tote bags from the zoo and the art museum, I get monthly magazines from Channel 9 and the zoo. The University of Missouri sends me luggage tags. Play the game, Humane Society.

But I digress.

Audrey and her dog Lizzie decide to join our team and so on Saturday morning The Wife, The Son, Audrey, Lizzie, Tina, Chris and Bentley (Chris and Tina’s dog, who was technically team captain as the team was called Bentley’s Barkers and yet you can bet he didn’t get a T-shirt) converged at the Bread Company on Brentwood Boulevard to plan our strategy for the day. Tina had made snacks for everyone, which are much better than T-shirts.

Bentley and Lizzie are small dogs and I’m on record as being opposed to small dogs. If you’re going to have a small dog you might as well have a cat, I always say. But Bent and Liz are pretty adorable, so I’ll give them a pass.

The event was to take place at Forest Park and my compatriots were convinced we’d have no trouble finding parking. I was not. I’ve lived here more than 20 years now and I assure you, if it’s a nice day and there’s something going on in Forest Park — and I’m going to be there — then everyone and their dog (literally in this case) will show up at Forest Park.

We drove to the park and sure enough, the place was packed. We did somehow manage to find parking spaces and after some confusion  made our way to a large grassy area filled with canines. This must be the place.

Went to the registration tent where I was handed a tote bag full of dog-related coupons, a small frisbee and a wet-nap. OK, Humane Society, it’s not a T-shirt but it is something. You’re off the hook. I gave the coupons to Tina, the frisbee to The Son, the tote bag to The Wife and kept the wet-nap.

As expected, pretty much every dog in St. Louis was there (except for Melissa’s dog Liberty, whom I’m told “doesn’t play well with others.”). To my surprise there was not a lot of bark at Bark in the Park. The dogs were much quieter than I was expecting.

 

The walk began roughly promptly at 11 a.m. and in no time The Wife, Chris, Audrey and Lizzie had left Tina, Bentley, The Son and I in the dust. For once it wasn’t my fault. Bentley is a very inquisitive and friendly dog and lots of people wanted to pet him. The plan if we were to get separated was to meet at the giant inflatable dog after the walk but apparently the only people who heard the plan were Tina and I and since we were together the plan didn’t really pan out. Thanks to modern cellphone technology we were able to hook up with the other half of the team.

After the walk Tina and Audrey and the dogs waited in line for free dog stuff. The Wife and Chris didn’t get near enough exercise from that measly one-mile walk, so they decided to go another round. The Son and I followed but it was quickly clear that we would not be able to keep up, so we found a picnic table and hung out. Watched a dog show that was mainly dogs catching frisbees and by the time that was over the ladies had compiled all the free stuff they could carry so we made our way back to the cars.

We returned to Bread Co. for lunch and had a nice, long, leisurely meal and chat. Tina eventually had to leave for yet another walk that night which I thankfully had not been invited to attend. I don’t know what the cause was but these boots are only made for so much walking.

 

 

At the Movies: Star Trek Into Darkness

As rousing action-adventure, popcorn-munching movies go, “Star Trek Into Darkness” has set the standard for summer 2013. “Iron Man 3″ will make more money but it wasn’t as crazy entertaining.

And this is coming from someone who isn’t much of a Trek fan. I’ve seen all the movies and maybe half of the television shows but more out of nerd obligation than love and awe.

Director J.J. Abrams continues at warp speed the scorched-Vulcan reboot of the venerable ’60s sci-fi series that began with 2009′s “Star Trek.” The film begins with the first of many mad action sequences as the crew of the USS Enterprise try to stop a planet from blowing up without being seen. It’s a great mix of special effects, character bits and action but I have problems with the whole scene as it relates to The Prime Directive and I really don’t want to go full nerd on that in a movie review so let’s move on.

The main plot really kicks in when rogue Starfleet commander John Harrison (Benedict Cumberbatch) blows up a Starfleet facility and follows that up by attacking a meeting of the high command and killing many important officials. Harrison runs off to find refuge on the Klingon homeworld.

Admiral Alexander Marcus (Peter Weller) sends Captain James T. Kirk (Chris Pine) to kill Harrison using some special long-range photon torpedoes. First Officer Spock (Zachary Quinto) doesn’t approve of assassination and convinces Kirk to bring Harrison in alive to stand trial.

A quick chat between Harrison and Kirk leads to the standard all-you-believe-is-wrong revelations and soon the Enterprise, and probably the entire universe, is in grave danger.

“Star Trek Into Darkness” is the most fun I’ve had at a Star Trek movie in, well, forever (although I’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for the one where they go back in time for whales). The action is exciting and practically nonstop. The special effects and set designs are first-rate. The movie references many classic Trek bits and moments in clever ways.

Of course, if your love of “Star Trek” centers on the crew sitting around a long table and discussing things, this will be a disappointment.

The cast breathe new life into familiar characters and all the popular characters are given at least one moment in the spotlight. As for the newcomers, Weller makes a nice addition to Starfleet command but it’s  Cumberbatch who really shines. He gives a chilling performance that’s so compelling you may find yourself rooting for him.

As to the film’s flaws, well, there’s still too much damn lens flare. But that’s obviously something Abrams really likes so we’re just going to have to live with it. I also felt the villain’s idea of putting a secret surprise inside the torpedoes was ridiculous as villain plans go. If I was going to hide something dear to me I wouldn’t stick it inside an exploding weapon.

At the Movies: The Great Gatsby

I read F. Scott Fitzgerald’s classic novel “The Great Gatsby” in high school. Or maybe college. I remember reading it for a class. I remember nothing about what it was about. I remember the book cover. Blue with piercing eyes staring out at you. That was memorable.

I saw the 1974 film version with Robert Redford and Mia Farrow at some point. I remember nothing about what it was about.

I bring this up because today I will be talking about the latest film adaptation of “Gatsby” by director Baz Luhrmann and I’m letting you know upfront that I will not be comparing it to the novel or the earlier movie. Even though I’ve read and watched both.

Odds are 30 years from now I won’t remember the plot of this version either, but I will probably remember that it was very, very pretty. Because the number one selling point of this latest take on “The Great Gatsby” is not a talented cast or compelling story or hip soundtrack — it’s the gorgeous, dazzling visuals.

Let’s get through the plot synopsis quickly before I forget. Tobey Maguire stars as Nick Carraway, a young man new to 1920s New York. He’s working as a bond broker and living in a small house in the shadow of a vast estate owned by the mysterious and wealthy (and mysteriously wealthy) Jay Gatsby (Leonardo DiCaprio).

Gatsby’s home is a 24-hour party palace where the elite — and not so elite — love to drink, dance and be seen. Carraway receives a personal invitation to one of Gatsby’s shindigs where he meets the man himself and they become friends.

But Gatsby isn’t simply being neighborly. He’s also using Carraway to get at his cousin Daisy (Carey Mulligan), an old flame. Gatsby wants to reconnect with his former love, despite her being married to wealthy but not particularly faithful Tom Buchanan (Joel Edgerton).

“Great” isn’t a word I’d use to describe the story of Jay Gatsby. Maybe it was groundbreaking when it was written in 1925 but it’s not that impressive today. Maybe that’s why I keep forgetting it. Still, it’s told well and the actors are fine, although I had a hard time buying DiCaprio as the sort of person who uses the term “Old Sport” a lot.

But it’s easy to give the film’s flaws a pass when you’re caught up in the immersive visual spectacle. The sets, costumes, cars and cinematography are the main selling points of Baz Luhrmann’s “Gatsby” and what give it any sense of greatness.

“The Great Gatsby” is available in 3D and despite the movie’s emphasis on style and images, the 3D doesn’t enhance it enough for me to recommend the extra cost it adds to a ticket.

Comics, Violins, Ice Cream and Horses

Or, How I Spent My Saturday.

Comics

As usual, personal issues impacted my Free Comic Book Day. This year it was a violin recital by Christine’s daughter Emma (and if it’s Christine’s daughter, by the rules of BFF, she pretty much Laura’s niece, which makes her my niece.). I couldn’t be mad at Emma, because after all she didn’t schedule the recital, unlike the people who chose to get married on Free Comic Book Day.

The recital began at 1 p.m., which meant we had to leave St. Charles by 12:15 p.m., which meant I had to get home by 11:45 p.m. in order to change, shower and eat something (There’s no point in showering before you go to the comic book shops, because you’ll only have to do so again anyway when you get home).

Since most comic shops don’t open until 10 a.m. — even on Free Comic Book Day — that gave me roughly 90 minutes to pack in all the FCBD goodness I could. My first stop would be Star Clipper, the premiere comic book shop of St. Louis, a good half-hour drive away. I didn’t want to get there before 10 a.m. because I don’t want to be one of those pathetic nerds standing outside the comic shop waiting for it to open. I’m a pathetic nerd in many other respects but not that one.

I arrive at 10:10 a.m. and there’s a line that runs into the building and out onto the street, practically to the Tivoli. Dammit, nerds. I knew the place would be busy but I figured most of you wouldn’t show up before noon. Do I wait in line or try my luck elsewhere? I’m already here so I figure I’ll wait a bit and see how it goes.

The line moved smoothly and as we waited we were greeted by a guy dressed as Spider-Man (he wasn’t the real Spider-Man because he wore tennis shoes), an Elvira, someone in something I didn’t recognize, and a guy dressed as The Punisher (he wasn’t the real Punisher because he was making balloon animals for the kids).

I was considering bolting when I was informed that we would be allowed 10 free comics once we got to the table. That’s probably a much better deal that you’d get anywhere else, I figured. No wonder everyone converges here. I was only here for the Marvel Infinity comic, a Walking Dead comic for a zombie-loving person I work with and this year’s Archie offering for Sister2. I can get everything I need in one stop, and then some, so I stayed.

At 11 a.m. I walked out of the store with 9 comics and an awesome “Iron Man 3″ pen that had a rotating puzzle thing on top so you could mix-and-match Iron Man, War Machine and Iron Patriot. I liked it more than all my comics.

By the time I hit St. Charles I still had time to stop at Comic Relief, so I dropped in. They were offering 2 free comics and 1 free comic for every $5 purchase. Now you see why everyone goes to Star Clipper. However, CR had “Iron Man 3″ HeroClix figures which SC did not, so props for that. I grabbed a tiny Iron Man and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comic and headed for home. Another successful FCBD, although some day I would like to attend one and not have to rush around.

Violins

We arrived at the violin recital a little after 1 p.m., just in time to listen to the kids tuning up. The program began precisely at 1:13 p.m. because it’s never too young to teach musicians how to be divas.

Laurie went down front to sit with Emma’s entourage while Andrew and I sat in the back. I handed him my new Iron Man pen and he enjoyed twirling the puzzle part around so that kept him occupied. Emma’s performance was in the first half of the program which was good. Sat through several versions of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” and “Pop Goes the Weasel.” Small children dressed up and playing the violin are adorable.

Emma took the stage and gave a moving and flawless performance. And I’m saying that in my role as a somewhat professional entertainment reviewer, not as proud uncle. A few songs later and it was time for intermission. For once I am glad for intermission. Andrew and I go for a walk and by the time we return there are only a couple more songs until the big “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” jam/finale.

Ice Cream

After the show we did what all musicians do to come down from a big performance — we went out for ice cream! The closest ice cream parlor was Serendipity. Dunno if it’s related to the one in New York that was featured in the John Cusack movie of the same name. They did have frozen hot chocolate. At least it was on the menu. When we tried to order it, they were out of hot chocolate mix.

The ice cream was good, but then it’s hard to screw up ice cream. The place could use a larger dining area. We got kicked out when a birthday party arrived. Fortunately we had finished our treats.

Horses

It was around 4 p.m. when we parted ways with Emma and her entourage. Since we were near where the Mother In Law lives, I suggested we drop in for a visit. Because that’s the kind of son in law I am.

We cruised down Big Bend to Aberdeen Heights, where there was a Kentucky Derby party going on. Got some drinks and retreated to MIL’s apartment. Andrew kept busy drawing at the dining room table while we sat through an hour of preliminaries before the two-minute main event. Given that Laurie and her mother are native Kentuckians, they get a lot more out of the Derby than I do.

We left shortly after the race. As we finally made our way home, I realized we had left my beloved new Iron Man 3 pen back on the dining room table.

Oh well. Almost a perfect day.

At the Movies: Iron Man 3

It’s the first weekend in May, which means Derby Day for horse-race lovers, Free Comic Book Day for nerds and Marvel movie weekend for the masses.

Ever since the surprising success of “Spider-Man” in 2002, which forever changed the start date for summer movie season (I prefer the term “blockbuster season” as calling movies opening in early May “summer movies” shows a serious lack of knowledge of how the seasons work), characters from Marvel Comics have owned this date at the box office.

For nine of the last 12 years* a movie starring Marvel characters has opened on this weekend, usually to great success. This year’s entry: “Iron Man 3.”

On the Iron Man Quality Scale, the current film ranks higher than the second — despite not having Scarlett Johansson in black leather — but not as good as the first. New director Shane Black has brought more humor to the franchise while crafting a superhero movie that’s unlike what you may be used to.

Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) is having trouble sleeping. He also has panic attacks at the mention of New York, alien invaders and The Avengers. To occupy his time and his mind he keeps busy in his lab making improvements to his Iron Man armor.

Elsewhere, a mysterious terrorist calling himself The Mandarin (Ben Kingsley) is blowing up places, killing people, making threats and being a general nuisance. In response, the United States government takes Colonel James Rhodes’ (Don Cheadle) War Machine armor, paints it red, white and blue and dubs it Iron Patriot.

Meanwhile, a pair of scientists from Stark’s past – Maya Hansen (Rebecca Hall) and Aldrich Killian (Guy Pearce) — are collaborating on an experimental treatment that can regenerate lost or damaged limbs. An unintended side effect is that it can cause you to blow up.

How all this ties together you’ll have to learn at the cinema. “Iron Man 3″ has all the trademarks of the franchise — a talented cast, humor, heart, impressive special effects and exciting action pieces. It’s another fun, popcorn movie in the Marvel mode. The 3D is fine but nothing spectacular. As always, stick around through the credits for a fun bonus scene.

Still, it’s a bit different from what’s gone before. Robert Downey Jr. has always been the key player in the franchise’s success and that’s never more apparent than in this installment. This movie would be more appropriately titled “Tony Stark,” as Iron Man is really just a supporting player.

Most of the film is centered on Stark with the armor showing up only when needed. A large chunk of time is spend with Stark playing secret agent man with help from a kid sidekick (Ty Simpkins). Don’t think having a young boy in the cast will soften Stark — he treats him with the same snark as everyone else.

There are the usual plot twists galore, including a major one that may upset some long-time comics fans. Did I mention this isn’t a conventional superhero story? Even Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) breaks out of her traditional role as damsel-in-distress on more than one occasion.

As far as the film’s weaknesses, there’s probably too much going on. It’s not the disjointed mess that “Iron Man 2″ was but it’s still got issues. We’re never given a clear, or at least decent, motivation for Killian and the subplot with Stark’s anxiety attacks is just dropped without resolution.

There’s a sense of finality to “Iron Man 3,” as if this were the end of something and it’s true that Downey’s contract is up. If this is the final farewell it would be a fine send-off. But I doubt it will be.

*In case your curious, it goes like this:

2002: Spider-Man
2003: X-Men 2
2007: Spider-Man 3
2008: Iron Man
2009: X-Men Origins: Wolverine
2010: Iron Man 2
2011: Thor
2012: The Avengers

Note: X-Men 3 came out in late May of 2006

The Second Best Holiday Of The Year

You should already know this but I feel obligated to point it out anyway. Saturday is FREE COMIC BOOK DAY. Also Derby Day, but that isn’t important right now.

This is the 11th year for the annual event, which will be taking place at participating comic book shops, bookstores and libraries worldwide. It’s the second greatest holiday after Christmas, because you already know what your present is going to be — comic books!

And best of all, no one I know is getting married Saturday. My adopted niece and movie reviewing sidekick has a violin recital that day, but it’s in the afternoon so I should be able to swing it. Would it be rude to read comics while the other kids are performing?

Per tradition, several comics publishers are sending out special comics to be given away at no charge for one day only. Everything from Archie to the Walking Dead will be represented. Avoid the books that offer nothing but short promos for the comics a company sells. Get a comic that tells a story. That should be the point of this whole exercise.

Each shop handles things differently. Some will let you walk out with multiple freebies, some only one. So hit as many stores as you can. Sadly it doesn’t look like they’re giving away a HeroClix this year. Did they go out of business again?

If you can only get one free comic, I would recommend “Infinity” by Marvel. It’s kicking off some big Thanos story. Thanos being the big purple guy at the end of “The Avengers” movie. I haven’t read the book so I can’t speak to its quality but it’s the only one with Hawkeye on the cover and that’s enough for me.

For more information visit http://www.freecomicbookday.com/Home/1/1/27/992

What’s On Ronnie’s Calendars 052013

Well this won’t take long. Both my freebie Marvel calendar and my Avengers movie calendar give the month of May over to the Invincible Iron Man. Not exactly surprising given “Iron Man 3″ opens Friday.

I don’t have much to say about the iron one. I was never a big fan of Iron Man in the comics or the cartoons. I thought about making this Iron Man Week but couldn’t come up with 20 decent trivia questions. And I couldn’t tell you what Iron Man comics to read as I’ve never read any really good ones. The best thing I can say about Iron Man comics is that Black Widow and Hawkeye debuted in them.

In fact, Robert Downey Jr. was the first person to make me care about Tony Stark. Comic book Tony Stark isn’t nearly as charming and charismatic.

FUN FACT: The Iron Patriot armor worn by James Rhodes in “Iron Man 3″ was originally worn by Norman Osborn, aka Spider-Man’s arch nemesis The Green Goblin.