Tag Archives: guy’s tasty mix

The Customer: Not Always Right

So I’m on Spring Break. I’m cruising with The Son, listening to some Steely  Dan, en route to God’s Country. Our first stop is Springfield, Mo., for lunch at Mexican Villa, home of the world’s greatest burrito. With rice.

I’m driving down Sunshine and I see the Dillon’s supermarket and decide to make a quick stop because Dillon’s is the only place I know that sells Guy’s Tasty Mix. The party mix that’s so tasty, they put it in the name. The party mix that’s so tasty, they won’t sell it in St. Louis.

The Son and I walk into Dillon’s and turn left because the chip aisle in most stores is to the left. Not at Dillon’s. We walk the length of the store then have to turn back and walk to the other end before we find the chip aisle. I pick up 3 bags, which will probably last me the weekend, but I’m hoping my kind and considerate sister has already bought me multiple bags that are waiting for me at her house.

We go — logically — to the express lane. The sign says “About 12 Items.” About? What does that mean? “12 Items or Less” I can understand. But “About 12 Items?” Is 13 about 12? Is 15? Is 10 not enough to be about 12? I hate math. I only have 3 items? Is that about enough?

I get in line. Ahead of me is a woman with something in a plastic container that I’m guessing is her lunch. Ahead of her are 2 guys with a couple of 2-liter bottles of Coke and something else. Ahead of them is the woman being checked out. She appears to have 10 or so 2-liter bottles of soda. This won’t take long.

The cashier rings up the bill. $8.47. The customer disagrees. “That’s too much.” The cashier looks over the bill. She counts the number of bottles. They still disagree. She rings things up again. Same amount. Same disagreement. They look at the sale bill. They disagree on how the sale is supposed to work. The cashier leaves her post to go look at what the sign says in front of the soda display. They continue to disagree. Stalemate. The woman in front of me sighs and walks away.

Eventually the sales manager sees things are backing up and comes to the next stall and opens a new line. I leap over 2 people and carts but still wind up behind a senior citizen with a dozen items in his cart. Still, an improvement.

As he’s checking out the man — I swear to God I’m not making this up — and you see where this is going, right? — the cashier from the express lane comes over. “You’ve got to help me with this.” “I’m in the middle of checking this person out.” He pauses briefly to look at the receipt. “Let me finish this.” He checks out the old man. I’m right there. Next. He stops to deal with the cashier and the customer, who has now joined the fray.

NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Curse you Dillon’s! Curse you Guy’s Tasty Mix! Why must you be so tasty? Mexican Villa — so close but yet so far.

A sane man would take his 3 bags of chips, toss them on the ground, stomp on them, and leave. But I’ve hung in this long. Must see it through. Eventually the manager sides with the cashier, the woman pays her $8.47 and they walk away. I consider asking for a free bag of Tasty mix as an “aggravation discount,” but I’m a wimp so I don’t. Did I mention the manager was wearing a large badge that said “Customer Service” ?

I don’t know how long the whole ordeal lasted, but I can tell you what it felt like: 2.5 hours. Plus maybe an hour.

The burrito was excellent. And the customer service at Mexican Villa — muy bueno.

Our Pointless, Worthless New Feature

I’m on the record as not being a fan of lists. I consider them “Lazy Man’s Journalism.”

I mean, you’re a magazine editor, you’re deciding what to put on next month’s cover – you can hire some investigative reporters and send them out to dig up some dirt and write a meaningful expose and topple corrupt governments or evil corporate crooks.

Or you could make up a list!

Lists are easy. They’re meaningless. And people love them. People love to read lists and argue about them.

Fine. I can play along. So welcome to the first installment of our new ongoing series: The Pointless, Worthless List.

The Pointless, Worthless List will be compiled by a three-man committee of experts (Me, Myself and I). Decisions of the committee are final, but you are welcome to argue about it in the comments section.

The Pointess, Worthless List for 10.06.2010:

Top 5 Party Mixes

1. Chex Party Mix — fresh out of the oven.

Note: Must be homemade and warm. Chex Party Mix in a bag doesn’t make the top 4. Also, if you’re making it at home, you must add cheese balls, which are not part of the official recipe.

2. Guy’s Tasty Mix

If, like me, you’re too lazy to bake your own mix, Guy’s Tasty Mix is the greatest party mix available in a bag. The bad news: It’s not available everywhere. You can’t even get it in St. Louis unless you drive out to Warrenton. But you can order it here: http://www.guys-snacks.com/chips.htm

Note: Some people — we’ll call them ‘crazy people’ — don’t appreciate the taste of Guy’s Tasty Mix. If you order a case and find you’re one of those people, feel free to send me the leftovers.

What’s so great about Guy’s Tasty Mix? It’s so tasty. It’s your usual mix of pretzels, nuts, cheese balls, cheese crackers, oaty-o’s, and other snack crackers. All mixed in with this amazing mix of seasonings that quickly congeals on your fingers. I generally toss pretzels out of my party mix and eat later when desperate, but pretzels covered in Guy’s Tasty Mix seasoning are delicious. I don’t recommend that you eat the 3-ounces or so of leftover seasonings that you’ll find at the bottom of the bag.

3. Munchies Ultimate Cheddar Mix

4. Cheez-It Party Mix

5. Cheerios Snack Mix