It’s Wednesday, so I’m going through the usual routine. I stop at the comic book shop, leaf through the new releases, purchase one, pick up this week’s issue of the “Riverfront Times” (known to the locals as the RFT) and head home.
Warm up a can of tamales and pour last night’s leftover chili over it. Sit down with a Coke and a smile and eat lunch while reading this week’s comic (Avengers Prime No. 3, if you’re curious). Finish lunch and sit down on the couch with the RFT.
It’s their special, annual, giant-size “Best of St. Louis” issue. It’s required reading if you’re a St. Louisan. Where else can you learn which local TV personality has the best hair? Or what restaurant has the best Dim Sum (whatever that is)? Or which bar has the best beer selection? And which athlete has the best butt?
It’s a great honor.
So I’m going through it trying to discover if Star Clipper has won Best Comic Book Shop again (It didn’t! I haven’t even heard of the winner!) and I come across Best Blog. The Winner: “Girl, You Lost Your Weave.” I’ve never heard of it but hey, the internet is full of websites I’ve never heard of. But there — beneath the paragraph extolling the virtues of the winner, were the following words:
Readers’ Choice: The RRoy Report
What The ####? Seriously, RFT? How did this happen? I didn’t vote for me. I voted for “Blog Full of Letters.” (I almost voted for “up a creek” but Fagan doesn’t live in Dogtown anymore and was ineligible. Sorry, bud.)
I can only assume that my sisters voted 100 times each. I doubt The Wife voted as the RFT is a bit too lefty for her. By the way, if you win a Readers’ Choice award, you don’t get a trophy or a phone call. I’m hoping I get free passes to the “Best of St. Louis Party” on Nov. 4. I’m clearing my calendar just in case.
Now, you may think I’m upset at losing the big award to something called “Girl, You Lost Your Weave,” but I’m not. I can only assume it’s a tribute website in honor of the late, great Charley Weaver and I’m willing to play second fiddle to that.
So, before the music comes on to play me off stage, I would just like to thank everyone who voted for me and thank the RFT for not verifying the validity of the votes.