Christmas Dos and Don’ts

I’m making a list and checking it twice.

Do send out Christmas cards. December is the one month of the year when going out to the mailbox holds the promise of something pleasant. Something that’s not a bill or an advertisement. Facebook has not yet killed the beauty of the Christmas card, the way it has birthday cards.

Don’t spend 20 minutes waiting for a parking space if there are cars behind you. This should be common sense all year long but it’s especially true during the holidays when everyone’s at the mall. I know it’s cold but it is possible to walk from the far end of the parking lot to the mall without dying.

Do light up your house with as many lights and inflatables and mechanical reindeer as your yard can stand. Christmas lights brighten up the dark, cold days of December. Keep them going through January if you like.

Don’t expect me to light up. We do string lights on the bushes out front if the weather is decent on Thanksgiving weekend, but that’s as far as I go. I’m not climbing up on the house to string lights. People fall off ladders and roofs all the time, sometimes with tragic results. I don’t need that.

Don’t invite more people to your Christmas party than you have room for. There’s a reason public buildings have occupancy limits. This should also hold true for your home.

Don’t block the meatballs. You’re at a Christmas party. It’s crowded. That’s no reason to stand in front of the food counter and chat. The food counter is not the appropriate place for conversation.

Do make lots of Christmas cookies and candy. Preferably fudge with nuts, bourbon balls with extra bourbon and peanut butter balls. Anything you can make in ball form is usually pretty tasty.

Don’t buy gift cards. If you’re too lazy to buy a proper gift (which is what you really should be doing), just give money. That’s what you’re doing anyway with a gift card, you’re just restricting it to a certain store.

Don’t play or sing ‘Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer’ in my presence. Should be self-explanatory.

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