The Pointless, Worthless List for 02.23.11

7 Oscar Predictions for 2011

1. “True Grit” will not win Best Picture — but it should.

2. Too many commercials

3. Three guys will go up to accept some technical award. The first guy to the mike will use up all the allotted time. The other two will beat him to death with their Oscars. (May not happen this year, but it will eventually.)

4. In the Best Supporting Actor race, Batman will beat Hawkeye and the HULK, proving once again that Batman Always Wins. Unless Casanova Frankenstein pulls an upset.

5. Lady Gaga will wear something outrageous. (I don’t know that she’ll be at the Oscars, but wherever she is it’s a good bet she’ll be wearing something outrageous.)

6. The winner of Best Foreign Language Film will go on and on in her acceptance speech, oblivious to the fact that no one cares.

7. “Toy Story 3” will win Best Animated Feature Film. And water will be wet.

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