Welcome back to Before You Go, the segment where I tell you all you need to know before going to tomorrow’s big nerd movie. Today: “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.”
HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHA. *Whew.* Good one.
There isn’t enough room on the entire Internet to fill you in on all you need to know before going to see the last Harry Potter film. And even if I had a clue what to tell you — and I’ve seen all the movies — I still couldn’t work up the strength to write it all down. “Harry Potter” mythology makes “X-Men” mythology look like “My Little Pony.”
And let’s face it — if you’re going to see “Harry Potter and It All Ends” then you’ve probably already read all the books and already know what a horcrux is and remember who Neville Longbottom is and understand why Voldemort doesn’t have a nose. And that means you know far more about Harry Potter than me. Like Transformers, Harry Potter is one of those nerd things I never got into.
Oh well, come back next week when I fill you in on the backstory for “Captain America.” Now there’s something I know something about.