Do You Know Your Ronnies?

 

 

 

From your 2011 RROY REPORT Idol Winner … Aaron Defenbaugh 

I’ve done some research about Ronnie Roy. A quick Google search will find Ronnie at all stages of life.

**

In teenage pubescence, Ronnie tweets as quackattack91. This early writing reflects common teen angst in a suburban setting. One must look hard to discover the spark of mature literary genius that is now Ronnie’s trademark style.

Consider:
“where da weed at???”
“I hate math, seriously…”
“Just farted so loud that I set off a car alarm.”

To read more, visit:  http://mobile.twitter.com/quackattack91

If I didn’t know how Ronnie’s life would turn out, I’d say this kid has no shot at the drum section, no shot at a journalistic career, no shot at a girl like Laura. But we don’t give up on troubled teens in America.

**

In an effort to seem tough, Ronnie joined the football team and decided to go by his given name, Rodney. Rumor has it that Ronnie couldn’t handle the pressures of leading a double life, especially since man code prohibits jocks from owning extensive action figure collections.

Check out these stats:
http://espn.go.com/college-football/player/gamelog/_/id/161000/rodney-roy

**

Later in life, when Ronnie was trying to find himself, he turned toward insurance sales. It was the stress of this job that led to the loss of his hair, his eyesight and his southern drawl. Fortunately, his work attire doubled as a Star Trek Next Generation uniform for his appearances at Comic Con.

Check out his video on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLNhueInlyc

**

When the world of insurance failed him, Ronnie turned back to his first passion – urban slang. In a flourish of creativity, he coined one short-lived gem:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/author.php?author=ronnie+roy+

You may have never heard it, and hopefully, you never will.

**

No matter what stage of life, Mr. Roy has had a profound impact on American pop culture. We salute you, Ronnie. In you, America lives on.

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2 responses to “Do You Know Your Ronnies?

  1. Isn’t the picture of Ronnie as a young Batman – complete with boots, huge gloves, homemade bat shirt, that helmet thingy and cape – just too adorable? If you look closely at the background, you can see an old hog house in the pasture across the road. I guess his fondness for pigs started at a very young age. (But probably not when we had to help dad move them from one field to another. I distinctly recall pigs were not the smartest animals when it came to herding them over the highway.)

  2. True enough, Sister. Would much rather move cattle than pigs across the highway.

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