Some of you (but not most of you) will remember that in September of 2010 I launched the yearlong Ronnie & Ronald Project. The year is up, let’s see how it turned out.
Inspired by the film “Julie & Julia,” I started the Ronnie & Ronald Project in the hopes of achieving similar fame and fortune. I had it all mapped out — Pitt was going to play me (because he owes me one) and my old buddy Clark Montgomery would make his big screen debut as Ronald (because he’s the only clown I know).
Didn’t turn out that way.
Since I do not cook, I decided to base the project on something I can do — eat. Since I don’t know any chefs named Ronnie, I turned to the only person I could think of in the food service industry whose name was close enough: Ronald McDonald.
And so the Ronnie & Ronald Project was born. In the course of one year, I would eat every item on the McDonald’s menu. Several people advised me against this, but I was confident that I would lose interest and quit long before I died of a burger/fries/milkshake overdose.
I was right.
According to the search engine, I entered three updates on the Ronnie & Ronald Project, then never mentioned it again. In the first post I lied about how much stuff I’d eaten because I figured no one would know any better, but then my What Would Ronald Do? wristband started nagging me and I decided I’d better be honest about it. Then, as expected, I lost interest. I did eat at McDonald’s a few times after my last report but I always got the usual — Big Mac, fries, Coke — so I didn’t see much point in writing about it.
I have other excuses:
I got sick and didn’t eat for two months (Not McDonald’s related, for the record);
Every time I turned on the TV, McDonald’s was adding things to their menu (Which was totally not fair. How am I supposed to keep up if they keep tossing in more items?);
I’m really not interested in eating anything at McDonald’s other than the Big Mac and fries. Maybe an apple or cherry pie if I’m feeling adventurous. Every couple of years I might go for the Quarter Pounder with Cheese just to shake it up. In the event it’s early, I get the sausage biscuit and two hash browns (one for me, one to distract The Son while I eat the first one).
And so endeth the Ronnie & Ronald Project. If you’re interested in the movie rights, call me.