Highlights From Virtual Oscar Party II

  • RR: How was the red carpet? I was watching ‘Star Trek.’
    JZ: Not as entertaining as in past years. Most playing it safe
    EB May I reiterate how much I hate ‘The Help’?
     JZ: ‎8 on the opening montage
    RR: Not feeling the love for the musical montage. How much do you hate ‘The Help,’ E-Becks?
    EB: The Help: descendants of white slave owners recount how awful it was to be forced to mistreat black people. Nothing as authentic as the oppressors telling the stories of the oppressed.
    DM: But it was life affirming.
    JZ:  Moses wins! Moses wins!
    RR:  I thought it was Sam Elliot. When did he go into cinematography?
    RR: What do you know? Someone saw ‘Hugo.’
    RR: Already with the pointless movie montages?
    DM: This is their attempt at making this pos awards show entertaining. That and having Billy Crystal’s makeup done at a funeral home.
    RR: What was the point of that? Don’t those things usually have a theme?
    RR: Laura does not share my love of J-Lo’s outfit
    DM: Did a nip just slip there on J-Lo?
    EB: Wardrobe malfunction.
    RR: No. Not a malfunction
    RR:  I’ve never cared about wardrobe and makeup, but I hope this segment never ends. I nominate J-Lo for next year’s host.
    RR: Ah, nothing like actors talking about movies.
    SE: Ronnie loved ‘Bridesmaids.’
    RR: Oh thank god ‘Bridesmaids’ did not win an Academy Award.
    TP: But Melissa was the best thing in that movie.
    JZ: Agreed. Without that character, I wouldn’t have watched the whole thing.
    RR: Why is the band in the balcony?
    DM: No room in the coat closet.
    SE: Bradley Cooper looks like a skeez ball with that mustache.
    LL: Hey, don’t u hate when people say “we did not expect this” … Oh come on, have some confidence! Tina Fey should be the host of the Oscars.
    CB: Finally … The Muppets!! I like Miss Piggy’s dress and jewels. Kermit looked nice, too. Why weren’t they on the Red Carpet preshow?
    RR: Oh good. a dance number. Poor George, having to pretend he’s entertained for the camera.
    RR: Wrap it up already doc crew
    CP: First playoff!
    RR: I don’t think those guys would have left otherwise.
    RR: Shoot Emma Stone, please
    SE: Shut your mouth. She’s gorgeous and hilarious.
    RR: Well, she’s one of those.
    JZ: Dog. Is. Bored.
    RR: Apes Was Robbed
    RR: Hugo is unstoppable. Except at the box office.
    EB: Nick Nolte looks like he got whipped.
    RR: He always looks like that.
    TP: Oh, another chance for Bridesmaids to win.
    RR: I would have been far more upset if Bridesmaids had won a writing award than if Jenny McCarthy had won.
    EB: This is even worse than last yr’s broadcast…
    LL: Meryl is dressed as an Oscar.
    EB:  God, I hate The Artist.
    RR: You hate The Help, you hate The Artist. What movies do you like E-Becks?
    RR:  That was a nice In Memoriam. Usually people are applauding inappropriately.
    TP: Agreed.
    RR: Dear god actors are a pretentious lot. I’d rather have pointless movie montages that listen to this.
    TP: I was kinda thinking the same thing. Don’t think that a film ever really changed my life.
    EB: God, I hate The Artist
    RR: Why, Eric? Why do you hate The Artist? It’s so joyful. I can understand hating The Help.
    TP: I don’t think he will ever virtual Oscar again.
    RR: Nah, he’s always disappointed by the Oscars. Last year he was complaining that True Grit didn’t win.
    RR: Did everyone go to bed already?
    LL: My cellphone died! And now, thanks to stupid nyc subway, we are home… E-becks is cranky, right? But he is the cutest! hahahah I think The Artist was cute movie, and really lucky to be released this year, when all these weak movies were on… Now, I want to see Hugo and already wanted to go see Iron Lady…
    EB: I wish my phone hadn’t died. VOP 2.0 was way more fun than watching the mediocre broadcast.

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