THE HEAT IS ON: Charleston, South Carolina, is a lovely place to visit, with interesting architecture and ocean views filled with sailboats and good food. Just Don’t Go There in August. The heat was bad but probably not any worse than what was going on in St. Louis — it’s the humidity that makes it terrible.
On our first day we decided to walk to The Battery. By the time we got there we were soaked in sweat. It’s hard to enjoy the surroundings when you’re fighting heat exhaustion. Fortunately there was a pool on the second floor which is where Andrew and I spent most of the week.
SIGHT SEEING: The women of Charleston, South Carolina, — or at least the women staying at the Mills House Hotel — love their bikinis. I also love bikinis, but don’t see them very often. Mainly because I spend all my time at private pools with someone who refuses to wear them.
I learned that week that many women look fine in bikinis, and many women don’t. You’d think the ones who don’t would notice that, but hey, it’s a free world. I only brought three graphic novels with me and I blew through them quickly and it only takes 10 minutes to read a USA Today, so it was good to have other distractions since I don’t care for swimming.
The pool at the Mills House Hotel only had four lounge chairs in shaded areas, so getting to them was always a priority. It always seemed to rain in the late afternoon (is South Carolina in the tropics?) which often cut short our pool outings.
TV TIME: All three hotels met my main requirement of a hotel — Free HBO. Sadly, it was “Contagion” week on HBO. They must have played that movie two dozen times, often while I was eating. It’s a decent movie, but not one I want to watch repeatedly. Or even a second time.
HBO has really ruined itself with all the original programming. Why would I want to watch an episode of “Boardwalk Empire” or “True Blood” or whatever when I haven’t seen any previous episodes and won’t see any subsequent ones? I often found myself turning to the Olympics as a last resort. Normally LawyerCon coincides with Shark Week, but it didn’t this year.
SPEAKING OF SHARKS: LawyerCon always hosts two evening outings during the week. The first was a trip to the Aquarium. I like aquariums, especially when I don’t have to pay to get into them. It was a nice aquarium with many large tanks of fish of various kinds, an albino alligator that didn’t move so we thought maybe it was a statue, a regular alligator that also didn’t move, and a bald eagle. Not sure what a bald eagle has to do with aquariums.
At the aquarium we were introduced to our new favorite Southern taste treat — Shrimp and Grits. Why don’t they serve this at Long John Silver’s?
WHISKY SOURS: The official drink of LawyerCon. Makes hanging out with lawyers all week even more enjoyable.
ART SHOW: Since we had plenty of space to haul stuff in the car, Laurie framed some Andrew Roy Originals and took them along for the silent auction fundraiser that always takes place on the first night of the convention. I don’t know how much they ended up going for and since I wasn’t getting a cut, it didn’t matter.
DRINK TO ME: For some reason our rooms were on the seventh floor, which is some kind of special floor (as mentioned earlier, you had to have a room key to access it via elevator). What was special about it was FREE SODA. There was a soda machine next to the ice machine. Made that cooler full of soda we hauled around rather pointless, but hey, soda doesn’t spoil so we just kept ours.
We also received two bottles of water every night along with two chocolates. The chocolates didn’t survive long once Andrew saw them, but we ended up with quite a stockpile of water to take home with us.
HOTEL BLUES: The Mills House Hotel is a nice old building with many amenities. The room was a bit cramped and there were issues with the toilet. Twice it backed up and we had to call maintenance. Once the bathtub stopper got stuck and we had to call maintenance.
For some reason this upset Laurie far more than you would think. I don’t care if there’s a problem as long as I can pick up a phone and someone else has to fix it. But she was so angry that by week’s end she was demanding an aggravation discount, which she got. Cindy would be so proud.
The best hotel we stayed in was on the way home in Lebanon, Tennessee. The room was huge, the beds were bigger and they had a free breakfast (although the one in Eddyville was better). The television reception was kinda fuzzy.