New TV Roundup 2012: Arrow And The Beast

As everyone knows, Green Arrow is DC Comics’ lame version of Marvel Comics’ Hawkeye. Granted, GA predates Hawkeye by 20 years, but just because you’re first doesn’t mean you’re best.

How lame is Green Arrow? He paints all his arrows green, for one thing. His name is so embarrassing the CW is just calling his show “Arrow” (I guess if they ever make a Green Lantern show they’ll just call it “Lantern.” Or better yet, “Ring.”). He invented the boxing glove arrow. He dresses like Robin Hood. But best of all, for years he ran around wearing a domino mask and a very distinctive Van Dyke. Worst Secret Identity Ever.

But for some reason, despite a wide range of characters to work from, the CW has chosen Oliver Queen to bring to the small screen as the replacement for its long-running faux-Superman series “Smallville.” You may recall there was a Green Arrow on “Smallville” but the new show has a different actor and they’re starting over from square one.

The debut episode aired last week and, to my surprise, it was pretty good. Stephen Amell stars as Oliver Queen, spoiled rich kid who is yacht-wrecked on an island for five years. He returns to civilization determined to clean up his hometown, Starling City (Why, why did they change the name of Star City to something even more silly?).

There are mysteries aplenty and several nods to the comics. Amell is suitably hunky for the CW’s target audience. He’s also pretty humorless but maybe that will come in time. The show has potential and an intriguing twist at the end of the first episode. A suitable replacement for “Smallville,” let’s hope it stays on target.

Beauty and the Beast

I never watched the original “Beauty and the Beast” series and I had no intention of watching this one until I learned Kristin Kreuk was playing Beauty. Why do I keep letting actresses suck me into bad television?

I didn’t pay much attention while watching the first episode because I had a lot to catch up on online that night but I got the gist of it. First problem — I cannot buy Kreuk as a police detective. I have an easier time buying Mindy Kaling as a doctor, and I don’t buy that at all.

But more importantly, the beast should look like…you know, a beast. Putting a facial scar on your standard CW hunk does not make him beastly. I gather that at times of stress he hulks out and becomes slightly more beastly, but that really doesn’t count.

I didn’t care about the murder mystery subplot or the ongoing mystery of who killed Beauty’s mother. I didn’t care about it at all, to be honest, so I doubt if I’ll be checking this one out again.

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One response to “New TV Roundup 2012: Arrow And The Beast

  1. The back story for the beast turned me off. First no doctor would be permitted to enlist as a grunt nor would they be used as a test subject. Two no doctor would take an injection without knowing what it was. Three can’t we think of something other than an evil government plot?

    Arrow might be worthwhile though.

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