Or, I’m Not Paying For That
Thursday marks the final day of LawyerCon. Laurie has class in the morning and a banquet that night. Me, I’m not doing a damn thing. I’m not climbing up a mountain or flying down one in a metal tube. I’m taking my son to the pool and chillin.’ He will swim all morning until lunchtime, then we’ll get something at the poolside snack bar (that will be open for the first time since we arrived), then swim until dinner. Grab a pizza, and if there’s time, go back to the pool.
At least, that’s the plan.
Get a late start, as usual. Put on our swim trunks and walk down the hall to the pool. There is yellow “Caution” tape all around the pool. Dear Lord, now what? The hot tubs are open but we can’t sit in the hot tub all day.
No problem, we’ll go use the rooftop pool. I’d been meaning to check it out but it’s so much easier having a pool right at the end of the hall. No excuses now.
We take the elevator to the 9th floor. We step out and are greeted by a large room with the words THE SPA hanging above. Nice young woman at the front desk.
“Do you have a pool?”
“Yes. Do you have a card?”
“That’ll be $12.50 a person. Would you like to charge it to your room?”
“Let me get back to you.”
We return to the elevator. I’m not paying $25 for pool privileges. Why are they charging for the upstairs pool? That was not in the brochure. I don’t think. I really should read the brochures.
Now I’ve got to drag Andrew, still dressed for the pool, back downstairs. On the elevator I tell my sad story to one of the lawyers.
“Oh, just go to the front desk and ask for a pass. If the main pool is closed they should have to let you use the spa pool.”
Lawyers. Is there anything they can’t figure out? Is it any wonder we love them?
We get to the lobby and there is Laurie. She’s finished for the day. I tell her our sad story. She goes up to the front desk and next thing you know we have a pass. Since she’s done for the day, Laurie decides to join us. So now we have to go back to the room while she changes. I swear, Andrew, I will get you to the pool.
We return to THE SPA where I give the young lady our pass and she points us in the right direction. Nice pool. Lovely view. Large hot tub. But the best part — no one under the age of 18 can use it! Adult swim! All day! It was glorious.
Of course, after a few hours I’m bored. But then it occurred to me — Laurie’s here. I don’t actually have to stay here all day to watch Andrew. Let her do it for a change. And so I take off for a couple of hours of the only me-time I will have all vacation. It was glorious.
Wife and child returned around 5 p.m. Laurie got ready for her banquet and Andrew and I made a final trip down to Snowbird Center. Got a large pizza with various meats on it. It was OK. Better than Little Caesar’s, not as good as Pizza Hut. Still, it was pizza. We ate it.
Got back to the hotel and the main pool had reopened. Took Andrew there for one last swim but it was so cold outside that I eventually had to bring him in. Watched the final “Daily Show” and despaired for the future of our nation.
Travel day was uneventful. One last trip down the mountain to the airport. The airport had a Popeye’s Chicken, so that was awesome. Sadly I had filled up on pretzel before Laurie found the Popeye’s. The person in front of me did not put the seat back all the way, which was good, because my knee was now too damaged to spend any time kicking the seat in front of me. The pain that had surprisingly eluded me on the descent into Utah came back with a vengeance as we landed in St. Louis. I’ll never understand me.
Laurie was sad to leave the majesty and grandeur of Utah but I was glad to be home. As LawyerCons go it was a pretty good one. I wouldn’t put it in the Top 5 but I wouldn’t put it in the bottom 5 either (Not having a comic shop really costs you points). But then, I would never sit down and chart them all out anyway so what does it matter?