About

The RROY REPORT is about, well, Me — Ronnie Roy. And the things I do and see as well as the trouble other people get me into.

The RROY REPORT F.A.Q.

1.  What does F.A.Q. stand for?

Seriously? Frequently Asked Questions.

2. Are these questions really frequently asked?

Some are, some aren’t.

3. What is The RROY REPORT?

The RROY REPORT is “the finest entertainment news and commentary available.” At least that’s our slogan. We’re also “fair and balanced,” because, hey, if Fox News can say that with a straight face, so can I.

4.  Why is The RROY REPORT?

When I started working as the entertainment editor for a local newspaper,  I started e-mailing my sisters on a regular basis about whatever movies, etc. I’d seen in the past week. One day I figured why not just compile it and send it to everybody I know, thus keeping in touch with people on a more frequent basis and maybe they’d write back. Over time it became this thing that got totally out of my control.

5.  Did it work?

Sort of. Response was pretty good in the beginning, tapered off to near nothing but some people write in fairly frequently. Depends on the topic.

6.  When was the first RROY REPORT?

The first RROY REPORT was dated 7/12/98. It was sent to a whopping 9 people.

7. What’s the readership now?

There are around 80 people on the mailing list. I have no idea how many people are actually reading it. Some people who were getting it didn’t read it, some skimmed it (usually to see if they’re names were in it), some of the addresses on the list I’m sure are no longer viable, and of course, there are people off-list who get it forwarded to them. Now that we’re online it’s anybody’s guess who’s reading it. I estimate the actual readership of the report at 2.7 million, give or take 2,699,929.

8. When did you switch to the blog?

The RROY REPORT joined the good people at wordpress.com on Sept. 9, 2009. Thanks to Rachel for setting it up.

9. Why did you switch to the blog?

Remember that entertainment editor job I mentioned in question 4? I don’t have it anymore. I was going to chuck the whole thing, but remember how I said it had grown beyond my control at the end of question 4? Well, to prevent much wailing and gnashing of teeth, I took the report to the World Wide Web.

10. Do you have a fan page on Facebook?

Everyone has a fan page on Facebook. Mine is at http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-RROY-REPORT/185559709960?ref=nf

11. Is there an advantage to being a fan?

None that I can see. It’s not real active. But it feeds my ego to see I have fans, so join up and bring your friends.

12. What’s a Walnut Festival, and why won’t anyone build you a float for it?

Every year in late September people gather in the city of Stockton , Mo. , for a 3-day celebration in honor of the Walnut. The highlight of the annual Festival of the Walnut is the Walnut Festival Parade. Every year I appoint a committee to build a RROY REPORT float to promote the glory of the RROY REPORT to a world audience, and every year I make the long trek to Stockton and sit through high school bands and queen candidates and horses and shriners, shriners, shriners, but never do I see my beloved RROY REPORT float. I honestly can’t tell you why no one will build my float, other than my long held belief that everyone secretly hates me.

13. What’s Joelfest?

From 1982-1992 I hosted Joelfest (with assistance from Ward a few years), the Annual Festival of Billy Joel, in which me and the buds  would turn on my freaky light collection, eat chips and drink soda and listen to the then-popular music of “The Man.”  The festival was well attended in the beginning, but interest faded as people graduated and moved out and on with their lives. When about 5 people showed up for the big 10th anniversary extravaganza, I pulled the plug. It returned briefly, but like most sequels, it didn’t have the same spark, and didn’t last. I decided to give my friends one last chance in the millennium to snub me, hence Joelfest 1999. They did …  two people showed up, both The Wife’s friends. It came back in 2000 only because Laura Leigh swore she’d drive in from Florida . Many people actually surprised me by showing up, including many long-time no-shows. Realizing that will never happen again, I decided to go out on a high note and thus there will never be another Joelfest. Except for 2007 when I hosted the 25th Anniversary Joelfest. But that’s the last one I swear. Until the next one.

14. Who’s Hawkeye?

There’s 3 answers to that questions. To fans of English lit.  Hawkeye is one Natty Bumppo, star of James Fenimore Cooper’s “Last of the  Mohicans.” For movie and TV sitcom fans, Hawkeye is Benjamin Franklin Pierce, the cynical surgeon from M*A*S*H. For purposes of The RROY REPORT, Hawkeye is one Clinton Francis Barton, world’s mightiest marksman, mainstay of The Avengers. Hawkeye is the second greatest superhero ever created.

15. Who’s the greatest?

See question 17.

16. Can I buy stock in Super Pig Productions?

No silly, there’s no such thing.

UPDATE: Now there really is such a thing. In 2010, at the advice of my lawyer and my accountant we set up Super Pig Production LLC to handle my freelance writing gigs. I’m told it was done for tax purposes. I really don’t understand these things, that’s why I went into journalism.

But no, you still can’t buy stock in it.

17. Who’s Super Pig?

How sad that you should even have to ask that question. Super Pig is a superhero created in my youth and loved by dozens of kids who knew of him in the ’70s in Stockton . He would have gone on to something great, I’m sure, but I attended the University of Missouri School of Journalism instead of the Joe Kubert School of Comic Art.

18. Your last review/comment was complete crap. Can I rebut it?

No, Darren. Everyone else, feel free. That’s what the comment section is for.

19. Who or what are the EC, the Others, West Pod, etc. ?

For a complete rundown on the various groups that are referred to in the report, see the post “Know Your RROY REPORT Cliques,” dated October 8, 2009.

20. What is RROY REPORT Idol?

Every year in August I go on vacation and while I’m away I appoint someone to write the report in my absence. A few years ago I decided to put that decision up to a vote of the readers and so was born RROY REPORT Idol.

21. Who has had the privilege of winning RRI?

2007 Guy Shreck; 2008 Donna Sizemore; 2009 Steve Pokin.; 2010 Jay Chism; 2011 Aaron Defenbaugh. 2012 Carrie Trent, who was unable to fulfill her obligations and was replaced by Ryan Fagan. (Note to self: Must update Question 21 every August)

22. Why does HULK sometimes write your theater reviews?

The third or fourth time I sat down to write a “Les Miserables” review I decided I needed  a new angle, so I called my old buddy, The Incredible HULK, and asked him to do it.  He proved quite popular, so now I bring him out every time I’m called on to review a show I’ve already written about in the past.

23. Do you really know Brad Pitt and Sheryl Crow?

No, but we did attend the University of Missouri-Columbia around the same time in the ’80s, which is how that running joke came about. My wife did know the drummer in Crow’s band Cashmere, if that counts for anything.

24. What is the RRoy St. Louis Freebie Festival Imperative?

Whenever I want to do anything in St. Louis, EVERYONE IN ST. LOUIS HAS TO DO IT AT THE SAME TIME. When I go to the Zoo, everybody goes to the zoo. The night we go to the Shakespeare Festival, everybody goes to the Shakespeare festival. It’s a real pain.

25. Did you forget anything?

Probably. If you have any questions needing answers, post them.

26. Is that your final answer?

No, but this is. For now.

The RROY REPORT is presented by Super Pig Production LLC.

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3 responses to “About

  1. First of all: Sweet design! Thanks for including a Garrison Keillor quote at the bottom of the RRoy Report, as well. On behalf of the state of Minnesota, I thank you.

  2. Since The RROY Report is a Super Pig Production, some day you should post the story of Super Pig. Perhaps Marvel/Disney/Stan Lee would pick up the movie rights and you could make a cameo appearance when Super Pig’s origin hits the “big screen.”

  3. I’m not sure why it took me almost two years to read “About”, but it was worth my time. So many questions, 25 to be exact, have been answered. I now feel I have a better understanding of The RROY Report!

    Ronnie, I will check next August to make certain you have updated the answer to questions 21.

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