It was 20 years ago today that I sat down at the computer in my office — which back then was the spare bedroom — and typed out the first RRoy Report. It started out as a weekly email and then eventually transformed into whatever it is now.
That first report went out to 9 people, half family and half friends — I have no idea where 2 of those people are anymore. The first review was “There’s Something About Mary,” in which I referred to Cameron Diaz as Gwyneth Paltrow. From the very beginning it was clear that I needed an editor.
But we’re not here for a history lesson. If you want that, go to the “About” page. No, I need some other way to mark this inauspicious occasion.
At first I thought about throwing a party, but then it hit me: Why am I always having to throw my own damn parties?
Then I thought about writing about how the RRReport has changed my life and made it so much better and all the money and opportunities that came out of it. But then that would be a lie and the truth is more depressing and who wants to focus on that?
Finally, I figured I would just take this opportunity — in this age of divisiveness and negativity — to just say thanks. After all, I don’t know that this will still be going for the 25th anniversary and I’m damn sure I’ll be dead before this reaches 30, so it’s now or never.
And what better and more pompous way to say thank you, than with a fake awards ceremony. Which is sure to be the only kind of awards ceremony I will ever be taking part in.
Cameron Diaz: Welcome back to the 2018 Blogger Awards and Hall of Fame ceremony! And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for: Winner of this year’s Blogger of the Year and Hall of Fame inductee for 2018…a man who needs no introduction.
stunned look. looks around. hugs wife. accepts the accolades of those sitting nearby. slowly stumbles to the podium…
Thank you, Gwyneth. Let me begin by thanking the members of the academy, the Hollywood foreign press, and the Hall of Fame selection committee. Like Ron Swanson, I do not believe in awards — but I did enjoy the pre-awards pie.
First, and most obvious, I would like to thank my parents for making me possible. I suppose for completeness sake I should also thank their parents and so on back down through the annals of time, but that’s a bit much.
Thanks to the Stockton Junior High Band for making me their boy reporter back in 1975 and setting me off on this trajectory.
Thanks to the University of Missouri School of Journalism for being in Missouri. If it had been somewhere out of state I probably wouldn’t have gone there.
Thanks to Chris Duggan for suggesting me for the entertainment editor gig at the Journal when he moved on. Thanks to Jim O’Neil for giving me the job even though I suspect there were many other more qualified people.
Thanks to my sisters, for their loyal support and for keeping all the early reports on their computers, all filed away for easy retrieval. Once I hit “send,” I was done with it. Now, if I need to find something I wrote about the Walnut Festival in 2003, Cindy can find it within minutes.
Thanks to my brother, because, well, I just thanked my sisters and my parents and I don’t want him to feel left out. Hmmm, I got it. Thanks for inheriting all the good genes and leaving me with the writing one.
Thanks to Jeff and Rachel Peine for setting me up at wordpress.com when we moved the report from being a weekly email to a blog. And thanks to wordpress.com for making it easy to do this and not charging me for it.
Thanks to the good people at Allied Integrated Marketing, the Fabulous Fox Theatre, and the wonderful Julie Lally for not taking me off the mailing list and letting me stay in the game.
Thanks to the 116 friends of the RRReport’s Facebook page. Especially the 46 people that I am not Facebook friends with.
Why is there music playing? Shut that crap off! I’m not through yet! I will cut you!
Thanks to my most loyal Facebook fans, Joel Bowerman and Ann Hein. If I post something and they don’t like it, either (a) I’ve written something terribly bad, or (b) it didn’t show up in their newsfeed.
Thanks to Jan O’Brien for ignoring that we quit doing the RRoy Report Holiday Gift Drive about 10 years ago.
Thanks to everyone who subbed here over the years, whether through RRoy Report Idol or simply because I asked you to cover for me.
Thanks all my friends and family who have found themselves — willingly or not — the subject of a report. I know a time or two (or more) I wrote something that hurt someone’s feelings. My apologies. That was not my intent, sometimes my sarcastic wit does not go over well. But I think for the most part you enjoyed the attention.
Finally, I want to thank the two people who have spent the most time having their lives misinterpreted by The RRReport — The Wife and The Son. Your support, and the fact that you haven’t killed me — or at least broken my fingers — is a large part of how this thing has kept going this long.
Is the mic still on?
Why do I write? A simple question. Some do it for money, or so I’ve heard, and some do it for fame and glory, or so I’ve heard. Most, I suspect, do it for the attention. Nobody writes unless they want somebody to read, unless you’re writing in your diary. And even then, you probably want somebody to read it after you die.
When I got laid off in 2009 I was pretty sure that would be the end of The RRReport. What was I going to write about– sitting on the couch watching “That ’70s Show” reruns while cursing Lee Enterprises? That Sunday I had to sit down at the computer and let everyone know what had happened and what it would likely mean for our weekly one-sided chats.
It was a dark time, believe me. Everyone was sympathetic and supportive, but then you expect that of your family and friends. I had pretty much lost the will to go on writing. And then this showed up in my inbox:
If you have ever enjoyed anything I’ve written these past 9 years you should probably thank Brenda Heller, whoever she is, because she pulled me out of the abyss.
And that is why I write.